Fic: McShep Drabbles (PG)

[allyndra]

I have no excuse for this, but I have an explanation. I was driving along, listening to Avenue Q, and I had this sudden image of Rodney singing "If You Were Gay" to John (just to get him to admit it). Well, I didn't end up writing that scene, but I did write three other drabbles based on Avenue Q songs. So, here they are, in no particular order:

The More You Love Someone, The More You Want to Kill Him

“Problem, McKay?” John’s voice was low and amused, and if Rodney hadn’t been both ridiculously relieved to hear him and bound spread eagle between two posts, he would have kicked him in the shins.

 

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Not at all, Colonel,” he replied acidly. “This is merely an expression of my feelings. I hate you *this* much.”

 

John’s hands were quick and professional on the tie at Rodney’s wrist, but his tone stayed light. “That might hurt if I didn’t know you secretly adore me,” he teased.

 

“No, really,” Rodney said, closing his fingers tight over John’s. “Hate you.”

 

***

It Sucks To Be Me

 

Lorne glanced up as a laden tray slid onto the table in front of an empty seat. “Hey,” Ronon grunted. He dropped into the chair with less than his usual grace.

 

“Rough day?” Lorne asked as Ronon bit viciously into a chicken leg.

 

Ronon growled around his mouthful of chicken. “Two hours in a ‘jumper with Sheppard and McKay fighting.”

 

Lorne winced, but Zelenka, carrying his meal past them, stopped to scoff. “You think that is bad? I was in the lab when they *stopped* fighting. On McKay’s desk.” He shuddered.

 

Ronon tipped his chicken leg in defeat.

 

Zelenka won.

 

***

 
Schadenfreude: Making the World a Better Place To Be

“A yak! Honestly, how does that appease the gods?” Rodney demanded, waving his hands in a way that completely obstructed Carson’s efforts to take his blood pressure.

 

“I’m sure I don’t know,” Carson told him.  “You appear to be fine, though. Why don’t you go wash up?”

 

Rodney muttered imprecations, but he left, taking the scent of wet yak with him. Carson turned to the nurse with a sigh. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that, Barbara.”

 

“I don’t mind. No matter how bad my day’s been going, I can always count on Dr. McKay’s to have been worse.