This was funny and in voice and charming as all get out. I love the premise of the misunderstanding. Xander's right, teddy bears are not shareable.

I laughed out loud at Spike's inner voice here: "Why couldn't Xander have male friends? Surly, silent male friends with deep voices who rarely spoke and never laughed like bleeding great dolphins. Spike piled another pillow on his head and pulled it down tight, a fluffy, ineffective shield." The insulting aside about Buffy's laugh was delightful.

I liked your description here: "Sitting pressed against his side, Spike felt an almost audible click of something right falling into place. It was like finding the perfect rhyme after weeks of searching for it."

Spike's entire wrongheaded pursuit had me grinning and the fun never let up. Thanks for a very entertaining read.