(part 1, because at least one of the issues last night was that it was too long for the comment field the first time)
Oh, Riley's lament at modern late-night television strikes a chord in my heart! I, too, *desperately* wanted my own food dehydrator. Curse my inability to obtain one! I would have used it too. I really like that the dreams are about more than sex, that Xander can just cuddle up with him and give him comfort.
Double Xanders! Yet another canon moment that I'll never get tired of seeing again :D Riley's fantasizing about them is delicious, and yay for him beginning to actively look forward to the dreams, but what I really, really love is that he feels guilty and thinks of it as cheating. This is so very Riley, and makes me fall in love with him all over again, because he's such a *good* guy, you know?
Hee, encyclopedia metaphor! For some reason, this just sounds very Xander to me. And I like how you handled the Xander/Anya breakup... I could see it happening like that.
Xander squirmed against him, pinned against the wall by Riley's greater bulk. His mouth was hot and desperate, kissing him with lips and tongue and teeth. Riley ground his hips against Xander's, sliding a knee between Xander's legs for better leverage. He held Xander's face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over the stubbled flesh of his jaw. Nothing made him feel more alive than this. and Riley opened his mouth and let the head of Xander's cock sink inside. His lips pulled a bit as he tried to take him deeper, so he pulled back and circled it with his tongue again and again, getting it wet and slippery. When he tried again, it slid in much easier, and Riley hummed his approval. Oh my, with the hotness. Very nicely done. I will say that while I *like* that it isn't perfect, I think it's a bit *too* clumsy maybe... the awkwardness seemed a littler bit forced/heavyhanded to me. I tend to be kind of picky about sex scenes, so your other readers might have been fine with it... I just thought you'd appreciate the feedback. Riley stifling his waking arousal was very real, and the reasons behind it read true. I like how you've presented his side of the failing relationship. And this: Unfortunately, she'd been sweet and understanding, and Riley was stuck with a beautiful girl friend he no longer wanted. Yeah :( I have to say, the way that you've made Riley/Buffy *real* for me is nothing short of amazing. I never really saw it on-screen, I just didn't feel any chemistry between them, and that feeling tends to bleed over into fic where they are a (side) pairing. That fact that you can not only make it ring true, but make it appealing, make my heart break a little because there are insurmountable problems and there is no choice but for their relationship to crumble... it's a great compliment to your skill in writing them. You make me believe that in other circumstances, their love could have been true and lasting and part of a relationship that was good for both of them. Ha, I *hope* you won't take this wrong, because I'm not sure if you did it deliberately. But I love that Riley is so *bad* at breaking up with Buffy. It's so very clear that he thinks he's handling it very carefully and that he's probably practiced exactly what he wants to say and how he should say it... but I'm watching it and going, "Wow, guys *really* never know how to break up with someone, do they?" and laughing. I'm... not entirely happy with that scene, and having a hard time pinning down exactly why. It doesn't seem to flow naturally (to me), and I'm not sure that if it's because Buffy and Riley are disjointed in their interaction or if I'm unhappy with Buffy's voice here, but I get a little jarred when it switches from one to the other. And aww, Riley is totally the guy that would want to still be friends, and not just in a "wave when you see each other" way. And... "That's the other thing." he said slowly. "I think I might be kind of gay."? I love that line, and can vividly *see* him in this moment. Hee! Riley, you are so adorable!
Okay, third time is the charm, right?
Oh, Riley's lament at modern late-night television strikes a chord in my heart! I, too, *desperately* wanted my own food dehydrator. Curse my inability to obtain one! I would have used it too. I really like that the dreams are about more than sex, that Xander can just cuddle up with him and give him comfort.
Double Xanders! Yet another canon moment that I'll never get tired of seeing again :D Riley's fantasizing about them is delicious, and yay for him beginning to actively look forward to the dreams, but what I really, really love is that he feels guilty and thinks of it as cheating. This is so very Riley, and makes me fall in love with him all over again, because he's such a *good* guy, you know?
Hee, encyclopedia metaphor! For some reason, this just sounds very Xander to me. And I like how you handled the Xander/Anya breakup... I could see it happening like that.
Xander squirmed against him, pinned against the wall by Riley's greater bulk. His mouth was hot and desperate, kissing him with lips and tongue and teeth. Riley ground his hips against Xander's, sliding a knee between Xander's legs for better leverage. He held Xander's face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over the stubbled flesh of his jaw. Nothing made him feel more alive than this.
and
Riley opened his mouth and let the head of Xander's cock sink inside. His lips pulled a bit as he tried to take him deeper, so he pulled back and circled it with his tongue again and again, getting it wet and slippery. When he tried again, it slid in much easier, and Riley hummed his approval.
Oh my, with the hotness. Very nicely done. I will say that while I *like* that it isn't perfect, I think it's a bit *too* clumsy maybe... the awkwardness seemed a littler bit forced/heavyhanded to me. I tend to be kind of picky about sex scenes, so your other readers might have been fine with it... I just thought you'd appreciate the feedback. Riley stifling his waking arousal was very real, and the reasons behind it read true. I like how you've presented his side of the failing relationship. And this:
Unfortunately, she'd been sweet and understanding, and Riley was stuck with a beautiful girl friend he no longer wanted.
Yeah :( I have to say, the way that you've made Riley/Buffy *real* for me is nothing short of amazing. I never really saw it on-screen, I just didn't feel any chemistry between them, and that feeling tends to bleed over into fic where they are a (side) pairing. That fact that you can not only make it ring true, but make it appealing, make my heart break a little because there are insurmountable problems and there is no choice but for their relationship to crumble... it's a great compliment to your skill in writing them. You make me believe that in other circumstances, their love could have been true and lasting and part of a relationship that was good for both of them.
Ha, I *hope* you won't take this wrong, because I'm not sure if you did it deliberately. But I love that Riley is so *bad* at breaking up with Buffy. It's so very clear that he thinks he's handling it very carefully and that he's probably practiced exactly what he wants to say and how he should say it... but I'm watching it and going, "Wow, guys *really* never know how to break up with someone, do they?" and laughing. I'm... not entirely happy with that scene, and having a hard time pinning down exactly why. It doesn't seem to flow naturally (to me), and I'm not sure that if it's because Buffy and Riley are disjointed in their interaction or if I'm unhappy with Buffy's voice here, but I get a little jarred when it switches from one to the other. And aww, Riley is totally the guy that would want to still be friends, and not just in a "wave when you see each other" way.
And... "That's the other thing." he said slowly. "I think I might be kind of gay."? I love that line, and can vividly *see* him in this moment. Hee! Riley, you are so adorable!